Sunday, June 29, 2008

the Emperor was off his throne!

this battle to keep her moving thru it all was nearly lost today ...

thank goodneess for acupuncture and good friends, I've more hope tonight that the battle will continue for at least qnother day ...

keep me in your prayers and send strength to mom to not give up!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


my world has shrunk to moments

hospitals, wants & desires, capablities


I'm at loss

doubts abound

hope a raft through the rapids

shore seems so far off

working to not worry progress

cause the river of time

will flow without help from me

and love is a constant

not to be doubted

its' power unmatched

its' timing unfathomable

Monday, June 23, 2008

Stanwood to carry the flag!

I'm headed to my mothers' side in Stanwood, we're looking for an oncologist stat ...

been 5 weeks since the diagnosis ... just got her out of the hospital after 10 days -- her breathing is still F@*%&*!

say prayers! Eileen

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Wow, that spasm is growing, the one that pushes through to my being

Into my back and out through my breast my chest, that spot near the souls’ warehouse

my arm twitching spasming the back pulling forward, upward and on

reminding me, I've Ms, a finite time to climb, to take the hand thats' offered me

to smile receive and to breathe, seems time is fleeting and yet its' not

cause this here, now is what we've got and this too shall pass, it's just more rest thats' wanted

just realized all these tiny, oddly placed, rather random, assaults on my equanamity

lets' call them spasms, might be do to the meds, I'm currently attempting to employ
to keep me swinging thru the show and still show up for mom, too. and keep rehabbing myself, Sharon danced with me!!! i had so, much fun!!! the white show rox!!! it was so worth my energy and I'm most sure you'll like it!!!

Friday, June 20, 2008

utube video peek at the White Show

Here is a You Tube video of a peek at the the white show.

Please forward to anyone you think would be interested

Sensual Repast

Sensual Repast
Friday, June 27th @ 8PM

In the tradition of past Sensual Repasts here at the Studio, we are creating a night of pure indulgence of the senses. And to the lucky few who will be present - you're in for a delightful experience!

Our Chef, Kim Black, is a true artist. Many of you have experienced his heavenly desserts over the past several months, but when tasked with a larger, more robust menu, Kim truly shines. The menu for the June 27th repast is delightful! Take a peek at our menu...

Each course will be paired with a carefully selected wine and served by Kim and our amazing Little Red Studio Troupe members as the evening progresses.

You will be entertained in delightful and intimate ways which only a gathering of this size will allow. Perhaps you'll enjoy a tango lesson between courses to help you sweep your loved one off their feet. Maybe a poem to guide your senses from your eyes and tongue to your head and heart. We'll offer that and so much more to indulge and sweeten your evening. We are limiting the attendance for this event to 30 people, so don't hesitate to purchase your tickets now for this wonderful event.

Tickets for this event are $100 per person and need to be purchased in advance. Please call (206) 328-4758 or purchase your tickets online at Brown Paper Tickets.
Event Info
(206) 328-4758
750 Harrison Street
Seattle, WA 98109

Thursday, June 19, 2008

what a difference a day makes!

well, my sis spent the day doing the kind of things she's more adept at, with mom at the hospital all yesterday! spoke with my mother last night, she was SO much butter, seems her meds had gone wonkie, made her seem out of her head ... well, her partner lobbied for stying with her last night, so I let him with the idea, I'd go in today ... off the suction tube from the wall to her lungs, well! She;s being RELAEASED yay!! Prayers are powerful, if you wanna know just ask me!

thanks for holding my chicken little hand! Eileen

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Juggling Priorities

So, Mom is officially in battle with the dread C and we're stakin' out the hospital with her, determined to keep her moving! Can't say she's having an easy time of it, but there is some hope and we're clinging to it with her, like a raft thru the rapids'. Say a prayer and think Happy Happy Joy Joy for us, no worrying!

That said, I've been taking the night shifts with her and sleeping days, and working to advocate for her, as I would for myself and she has for me, in the past. Wow, finally my well honed advocacy skills' come to bear. With the support of friends I've been able to keep my responsibilities to the studio, and managed not only rehearsal, last week, but the Gold Show (if you missed it, well it was a spectacle much like the old days of the studio) and then Saturday night, I filled in for a poet at the Thirsty Mug and manged to get myself on the Radio (Everett KCSR? and it will go onto the web after that, oh boy!)

I feel so, happy in some brilliant ways that are about self and career and so, so conflicted about moral issues, & SAD about the other more immediate struggle. This ought to spawn some amazing poetry, when I've finally the time and energy to write poetry. I did manage to finish a painting which now hangs in her hospital room!

Provigil, Amantadine and xanax are good allies, at this point, and I'm managing the swing, seemingly. I'm getting better at leaning into their calibration, every day.

So, come see the White Show, even if you've seen the others. It's amazing enough for me to think my being there, might matter. Why not come see it, my haircut, and give me a hug!

Sunday, June 8, 2008

the Psychedelic Show and Provigil

So, one of the poets, who'd stepped up to cover anothers' spot in the show, well her mother had a stroke, BOO, seems everyone is dealing with big LIFE stuff, and so, I rallied, took a provigil and the help of another poet, to polish a little 'throw away poem' into something worthy of the studio, so I could fill in -- I had so, much fun and felt I'd come home ... and the Provigil (originally developed for narcoleptics) made it possible, although I really had to be careful cause if the body can't it just can't, oh you're alert and able to rally, but ... well, I still have MS --so, i really leaned into the crutches and didn't do any superwoman stunts, plus I had the watchful eyes of a sincere friend watching, stewarding and paying attention to my reactions to the many energies, which can sideswipe me and counseling me where to spend my finite energies ... I had so, much fun and was surprised to hear it was a 'wonkie' night it all looked so, good!

The show was amazing fun and the poetry, stitched into the body of the piece was amazing --- I am humbled by the talent we've managed to attract, husband and cheerlead, into performing with us -- if you haven't seen this one, do!

Friday, June 6, 2008


Want some? I do. I often indulge in some form of diversion. Living with a chronic illness, has me gathering diversionary tactics like children scrambling for candy when a Pinada' spills open at a birthday party. Indeed things like watercoloring, yoga and poetry are some of my mainstays. These tactics are a solid part of what keeps my head out of a major depression. Right now, I've more reason than ever, to seek more diversion. In the past I've been distracted by diversion such that I've let some things' slip, but this time, I'm trying to stay clued in to what's going on with my mother while not dropping my balls' for my steady attention to her.

Ecco sta' Blog: So, theres' a BBQ and open mic at the studio, this evening, my favorite place for diversion of the finest caliber! It sounds to be a lovely evening of good food and some fun entertainment! Yes, I am going to do my favorite thing : Read poetry, maybe even sing while shmoozing with friends -- the greatest diversion of all!

I'm told some others from the studio, will also be in attendance. And knowing our audiences are always full of talented folks, I'm excited to see what will be in the offing and who, has what up there sleeve! It's events like this have brought us some of my favorite additions to the troupe! Wondering who we'll see and what! Why not come say hi and bring your favorite shtick?

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Back in the saddle

for the White Show! It was fun and I felt so supported to be there, propped up so beautifully and meticulously by this amazing troupe of artists, who's compassionate handling of me made it possible for me to do, some theatre. I think it's a good show! I had some fun, got through the whole night and laid down a solid set of poetry, for the first time in 3 months! woo hoo!

Hope you'll decide to come see, it runs thru August. So, of course I'm on to the next one (June 21st) and working to polish my set to a shine you'll not recognize. Hoping to have at least the shorter poems memorized, body willing. Remembering Piano! Piano! Keeping my plates in the air, will be a real challenge.

I went down to the band rehearsal tonight. I'm massaging my instrument again, hoping to rehab it too, along with my body. I want to sing again! Practicing vocally and building my stamina, are like adding another plate. :| Send me some energy!

it's late and I'm a little manic since the show, but tomorrow I can sleep and have no apts! Yay!!! I'm going to bed, nite!

Sunday, June 1, 2008