finalmente! on waiting list since august of 2007

I'm going to get implants! I've been on the wait list at the dental school since 2007. The intial consult will be this Monday, yikes! Ultimately, they will do the procedure for way less $$ and I will be providing a service to the student, too! But, it must start this Monday! So, I wonder can I take on the 9mos, at least, procedure and manage to be there for mom, too?

Well, at this point I'm forging ahead and getting the xrays they need, thanks to my fabulous dentists office on a day when they're ordinarily closed. YAY! (shhh) Dr. Higashi and crew -- who've become , some of my extended family, they've been fo good with me and my teeth and soul.

So, I'm forging ahead and praying my angels we'll be at my side to make it all happen, as it should. Moms' surgery has been scheduled for the 18th of November.

if you wanna know more call me ... or keep watching

Ants

'Just what made that little ol' ant
think he could move a rubber tree plant . . . '
High Hopes Song music: Jimmy Van Heusen, lyrics: Sammy Cahn.

A childhood song
inspired watercolor she found in a box
left to accumulate the dust of that passage of time she'd
endured 'sopra visuta' absorbed into her
made a part of her she wondered now, at the bruise
how had she sustained this damage;
not known of its force so obvious to others.
The stress fractured her soul
She'd long since grown tired of her own bellowing
and if her mother died she doubted anyone would come
looking for the girl who cried
wolf


mefr 10/19/08

F@(*K!!!

so, after last nights' rehearsal, I was SAD ...
the day spent dealing with the skewed horizontal of my body

(feeling as though I'm in a boat caught in a sand bar and so, no longer floating upright, but listing hard to the right -- this is not a new symptom but is a revisitation of one I have when I'm tired or under some outside stress -- LIFE ?!? ~~so, ... bX3 -- it also reminds me of that time in Venice with the boat and the firemen and 'american pie by Don McClean (I think that's how it is spelt), keeping us from being raped, potentially or drowned or forgotten -- we were loud the water police came and we got a midnight tour of Venice by starlight -- sure we were soaked, flithy and cold -- way past curfew , at this pt) it )

... it left me feeling overwhelmed. Such that, the combined factors of pain, the rather routine rigors of a dress rehearsal with live poets (they're harder than dead ones' ) and the idea I had been inappropriate, intolerant or overly self-involved in combination with flubbing lines and balance issues .. I had a mini melt down in the bathroom -- i am so sorry R & Heather, and don't even know if you will read this, but finding sleep last night was harder than usual. The falls' I've been taking recently, while mostly sustainable damage, throb with their reminders, and make them particularly hard to ignore.

new poetry ~~ more telling than anything?

Scars appear

All over our bodies

And not just on our skin



We have scars in our voice

That you can hear

if you know how to really listen.

The shift in tone, in pitch,

A tremble, a shake, a sudden slur

Of a phrase.

Caused by some injury,

Perhaps to spirit,

Perhaps to emotion

Perhaps to body.



We have scars in our eyes

They cloud of the clearness

The sparkle, the zest for life

You see inside of people.

What injury dulled your enthusiasm

Love for life? How do we

Re-capture all of your beauty?



We have scars inside and out,

Some you see clearly,

Some are almost invisible,

Some you’ll never see

In others and others will never see in you,

But you know they exist,

Sometimes you know exactly where they are

And sometimes… you aren’t sure

Ad maybe believe they have healed.



Contrary to popular myth

Some scars do fade away… completely.

Leave your scabs alone

Time will heal them…without scar



And if some scarring never goes away?

Well some scars are sexy…

Don’t hide them.

Everyone who knows how to look will see them anyway,

So embrace them…

They are part of you.

Love them.

Christopher J. Jarmick Writer
Poet, Financial Advisor--isn't everyone?

************************************************************,



you

you

you make my heart

hurt

throb

throb with the resonance
of places disturbed

like ripples in the water
you

you
stir me up

you
touch my soul

wake me up
you

you you you you
soothe me

you you you you

by sanding away those
glitches in my surface

you you you you

perhaps imagined

i hear
know

you

you you you you

mefr 10/17/08
xoxoxoxo eileen

Oh, lover!!!

so, for the last 6 months, i've received at least poem (sometimes 3) a day ... this is the latest and may explain to some how, I'm holding on thru this thing with my mom ... hope you know I am thinking and feeling and hopeful, too! If you are reading this, chances are I love you, too!!! E

Foolish Man banishes doubt in poem

How do we begin again

When the detritus remains

You can’t start clean, fresh

The past is there

There’s unfinished business

Always

Unfinished business

The tears flow

Out of frustration, fear

Stop…

Believe in love

Believe in magic

Hold on

I’ll say it enough times

It must be true

It will be true.

I’ll believe, keep to my faith

When all around me

They believe I’ve lost my mind

I’ve lost everything good in my life

I’ve created this beautiful family

And still am able to write and share

And create and do so much

Then I want to be in love again

As if it was not over-rated

As if magic can happen

Does happen

And will happen to me.

As if my magic will heal others,

One in particular.

As if it will make a difference,

As if I a right to believe

I can make it so.

I must be so so foolish

To stay this course,

Yet I stay this course

I’ve saved myself

For

Island girl

She’s decided to leap

To defy former lovers

Her mother

And leap with me off the cliff

It’s already happened of course

But she actually realizes it has happened

And she’s holding onto my hand

Believing I can do this

And…

I

Can

Do

This

Because

She’s holding onto my

Hand

And I’m

Foolish enough

To believe

In

The magic

Of us.

hedgebrook residency application receiced!

woo hoo!!

very exciting
more soon

if you're reading this

chances are

i love you!!!


xo Eileen

The show worked!!! reposting from the poetry list ~~ too much going on w/mom 2 think

The show worked!!! Thank you Bruce, Jeff, Kerry, Don and everyone who worked so hard to make it happen. I'm going to talk about the poetry set now. (these are Chris' J.'s notes from Saturdays' SAFFRON show)

Thank you poets for a wonderful show. You worked hard to help make it a great poetry set and Eileen and I really appreciate how seriously you took it and how wonderfully you followed through and made us so proud. Many of you took the challenge to memorize your poetry and did
so... yaaaaay.... everyone was familiar with what they were reading, they were able to give wonderful performances even if it was not completely memorized.

Thanks D, R, M, T, X, David T.

Every one of you brought the something extra to your performance and the audience noticed. Eileen and I have never heard so many positive comments from audience members, new and old alike about the poetry set.

For me personally it was a big deal. I first learned about the studio through Dobbie, several months later Eileen, Kerry Cox, Brenda Givens and Dobbie got me to a show and then I was invited to be part of it. Eileen told me the story of how the studio began, how Jeff asked her
to do poetry, how the poetry set grew into something bigger. In my personal work as a poet, it's important to me to bring poetry to people so that they might re-discover it, understand how it can heal and communicate. It is under-appreciated art form that is actually very accessible. Eileen explained she would be on hiatus for a few months possibly longer and could I help keep the poetry strong, work with the studio and Dobbie and others. I took it on as a challenge
to help Eileen and Jeff and the studio give poetry to the audience in a way that represents it as both entertainment and art.

At least 2 separate couples and a few others told Eileen and I how they really are not into poetry and do not go to poetry readings and have little appreciation for it, but that they really enjoyed the poetry set at the studio and it really touched them. Not one or two poems.. but the whole set.. the different voices, the different styles, the different subjects. This is such an important thing for Eileen and I to hear...

Taking back poetry is what I call it. A lot of people were forced to memorize poetry they didn't understand in school and later had to sit through boring lectures in College about it. Others have sat through bad poetry readings.

So thank you.. for making it happen the way that it really matters. Thank you for letting me be part of it. Eileen and I promise you that we will make suggestions and come up with ideas for you to look and do your best. We will do our best to place you in the poetry set in such a way that you can shine in the spotlight for a few minutes and show off. We want you to look your best. And last night you did...

so thank you.. and congratulations.

Unfortunately right before the poetry set happened Eileen took a very hard fall. From a standing position she fell and smacked into the small tea table. Many people heard the big crash, tea cups were broken and some of the guests rushed to help Eileen along with Terry. Eileen of course insisted she was okay.. she was in the show must go on mode. She got up and did the poetry set.. and talked to guests after the show not fully realizing how much she paid for the fall. The
fall left her with a huge bruise, back pain and a twisted ankle. She didn't let anyone know how serious it was--not even me, until later. People assumed if she was more hurt she would say something or she might have even stayed down. Eileen isn't like that... Instead of stopping, getting some ice packs or calling any attention to what happened.. she just went and went....

Fom Eileen : hey, I'm made of rubber, at least mostly! ;) Sophia and the lady's
at the day spa, helped me soothe and smooth my feathers -- I mean,
flaps (?) Well, the lavishing of love in the waters of Little red day
spa, loosed everything and added thankfulness to the healing elixir!
No, worries, I heal and roll and bounce and smile!
It was a great show!!! Be pl.leased fellow, poets!!! thnx, Eileen

*** if you made it this far, please say prayers for mom, who's about to undergo surgery in the next few weeks! if you want more info you can call me @ 206 686 3767 xo please forgive my reposting this LRS specific noosie, piece, just thought you'd like an update!